My first blog ever, I really do not how this interest caught hold of me, but this serves as a best forum to let out all my untold emotions, those which I’ve hidden due to ego, shyness, jealousy, anger what so ever. Let me get into the content :)
I really wonder what made me think about you at this time of the night. It’s 12.40 a.m., a serene night with mysterious silence which is occasionally interrupted by the drizzling sound of the rain, darkness all around. All at home are fast asleep and I’m before my laptop thinking about you and writing down my thoughts.
Subbu, my dearest friend a tall, curly haired girl with sparkling eyes, calm and collective person, not quickly angered by nature. She is currently working in a software company as a project lead. I’m feeling lonely with none around me and simultaneously at peace trying to scribble a few lines about you. I’m absolutely clueless about what made me think about you, but as I write this tears are rolling down my cheeks .You’ve been such an angel in my life that at this moment if I had anyone next to me I would spurt out immediately , without any iota of hesitation that YOU ARE ONE OF THE BEST FRIENDS ever who made me feel heavenly, showered unconditional love and with whom I’ve shared ecstatic, precious, stupid, good, bad, silly, foolish moments which I would treasure the whole of my life time. I’m thankful for all those moments and for the ones yet to come in future.
Subbu, I sincerely wanted to apologize to you for an incident that happened about 6 years ago. It was during the pre-final semester of our college days. I was a little skeptical about the way you handled relationships. I thought the way you prioritized relationships was not fair and I ensured that I was given the top most priority almost every time(I would have seldom give up). If you remember I would have spoken very less to you on this regard but my gestures spoke a million. At many situations I would nastily jump into conclusions that you were not bothered or considered about me. I would end up perceiving that I’ve been the most stupid person showering unconditional love on you. A kind of self sympathy though.
It was the time when my sister had delivered a baby (my cute, charming niece Mruthula). All our friends were planning to visit our home to see the new born. You also had plans to visit Mala’s house after visiting my house, which I did not want to happen. We finally executed our plan by successfully bunking our classes the entire day and started off our journey from Kovilpatti to my place Tuticorin. An enjoyable 1.5 hour journey where we had great fun yelling in the bus and causing public nuisance of all kind, with many people in the bus giving us a cold stare, since we were all girls , that being a remote town, we could sense the intolerance towards such naughty and noisy behavior of girls. But we continued with no botheration about our co-passengers and finally they got accustomed too, each of them continuing with their own jobs, some sleeping and some gossiping.
It was the time when my sister had delivered a baby (my cute, charming niece Mruthula). All our friends were planning to visit our home to see the new born. You also had plans to visit Mala’s house after visiting my house, which I did not want to happen. We finally executed our plan by successfully bunking our classes the entire day and started off our journey from Kovilpatti to my place Tuticorin. An enjoyable 1.5 hour journey where we had great fun yelling in the bus and causing public nuisance of all kind, with many people in the bus giving us a cold stare, since we were all girls , that being a remote town, we could sense the intolerance towards such naughty and noisy behavior of girls. But we continued with no botheration about our co-passengers and finally they got accustomed too, each of them continuing with their own jobs, some sleeping and some gossiping.
Finally we reached our destination and I was all set to take all my friends to my house. We reached home with the warm welcome of my sweet granny and sister. We enjoyed with the baby and all of us relished the lunch. It was around 4’o clock in the evening when you approached me trying to tell something. I quickly sensed your thoughts and smartly pulled Velvizhi (one of our friends) next to me and started off with another conversation. Unfortunately you did notice my gesture dear and you were disappointed and shocked. I saw the slight wrinkles near your eyes trying to pop out your disappointment, but you neatly covered up with a warm smile and moved away, as though you haven’t noticed my silly gesture. I truly have a nagging pain in my heart for having hurt you and I could just imagine the trauma you would have underwent coz of such behavior, not only for this single incident but few more incidents when I’ve deliberately hurt you. I repent for all of those mistakes and I’ve never got forgiveness from myself. At this juncture, although we are miles apart I feel I miss you and I deeply apologise for all my mistakes. I’ve been carrying this these entire years dear, but today having expressed my thoughts to its fullest magnitude I feel my heart is as light as feather and you know what I feel, that I’m already forgiven :)
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